Hello everyone!
Wow, I have been to some deep and dark places recently that I have thankfully moved through fairly quickly with my own process and a little help from my loving friends.
"When you are going through hell, just keep on going!" ~Winston Churchill
Can anyone relate?
As many of you know I went to Oregon for an adventure that actually turned out to be extremely fun and enlightening at the same time.
Part of my trip was to meet the man.
Well looking back I have had to face the fact that I attracted a guy that was not in his integrity and had been leading me on the whole time.
Since I am an honest and trusting person, I look back on this experience and see that I ignored the red flags by giving him the benefit of the doubt.
It is difficult to understand dishonesty when you are not dishonest yourself.
What the heck was that?
What energy was I putting out that attracted this situation to me?
In what ways was I being dishonest with myself?
I realized that I had expectations.
Expectations = opportunity to be upset.
I also got in touch with my little girl that plays the victim.
When your victim self shows up, please listen. There is a lot to be learned from her.
Ask her what she needs from you?
Hiding behind old patterns is safe and familiar.
Victimization is a choice and we get to choose what to do with that.
I declared to be responsible for all of it and this thought placed me in a much more powerful position to decide how I was going to proceed.
Thought-Action-Result = Power
Taking control and harnessing the awesome power of the mind. You get to choose what your thought will be.
I see so much more from going through this experience.
The man is a blessing that allowed me to understand more about who I am.
I also have been inspired from this experience to write my second book.
I will not allow myself to overlook these red flags again.
I have a new perspective that feels miraculous and a lot like freedom.
I told him I was no longer interested in seeing him, that it was not the plan that I had for myself and thanked him very calmly.
After I hung up, I blessed him, took a deep breath and let him go energetically.
The results have been amazing. I have been communicating with the most interesting men that seem to have big caring hearts.
I have been asked to do some very fun things this summer like BBQ's with dear friends and outdoor concerts.
I am choosing to engage with life and do all the fun things that summer brings.
I have become much more discerning in a way that honors me more than ever.
If it is not fun, I am not interested. Thank you very much.
It is a learning curve, where giving ourselves permission to take the time to "fail" and to be successful is an important part of the journey. Be gentle on yourselves always.
Not knowing is a big part of this learning curve that makes it an adventure for sure.
After all we are all at the center of our own worlds with our own perspectives, trying to make the best decisions for our selves, with what we know and with what we understand about our world.
We are all doing the best that we can.
Lets try not to take things so personally. (Read the blog post on The Four Agreements.)
Live, learn, laugh lots and grow.
Namaste
Excellent! Wonderful and empowering insight and thoughts.
Posted by: Troy | June 29, 2009 at 02:16 PM