What women need from a man before having sex
Laws of the Jungle: Dating for women over 40 co-authors Gloria MacDonald and Thelma Beam interviewed midlife women and asked how they knew they wanted to have sex with a specific man.
Filtering through the answers, they came up with some commonalities for the women's description of chemistry, a term that seems elusive.
The components of chemistry for women boiled down to these four things:
1. Liking and respecting the man; his self-confidence and presentation; kindness, generosity, protectiveness, chivalry and other positive traits; acceptability in terms of status, income, personality, etc.
2. The possibility that the relationship will continue; that some potential exists to make it permanent; that this man could be a suitable life partner for them and they can visualize what their future would be like.
3. The man is willing to invest in her emotionally and materially, shown by cuddling, talking, kindness, acts of service, love talk, generally taking an interest in things that make her happy, gift-giving, paying for outings, having an adequate income. She could envision him willing to commit to a monogamous relationship; that his affections are not otherwise engaged by a former wife/girlfriend or current love interest.
4. That there is at least some physical attraction on both sides, or at least that there are no physical turn-offs.
Contrast that with what men said they needed:
1. He finds her physically attractive.
2. She is willing.
Women report that without many or all of the 4 criteria, sex is fulfilling and pointless.
You can see that women and men approach sex from different places. Only after having sex with a woman will many men decide whether to further invest in the relationship. They will expend time, energy, attention and money to get sex, and women misinterpret this as an investment in the relationship. Men would start a relationship with sex, for women sex is the point at which many other criteria have been met.
MacDonald and Beam explain the differences logically based on human evolution, making sense of all this.
To way back to the cave people’s time, women are wired to want to make sure a man will stick around to provide and protect she and her children.
Men are wired to get their seed out there to keep the human species going.
Yes, modern men and women have evolved socially, intellectually,spiritually and emotionally.
Yet, the authors state, there are still some remnants of that old thinking that is just hard wired for both sexes.
Thus Katherine concludes, women will dangle the carrot of sex to get a commitment from a man. While men will dangle the carrot of commitment to get sex.
And here we are................ ;-)
Ain't life interesting?
The way nature intended is how I see it.
Read more on the way Katherine sees it...........
I believe it is so important for us as women to educate ourselves by filling up our intelligent minds with all of the pertinent information out there unique to us as individual women(we know ourselves better than anyone else). That teaches us of our beautiful bodies, our valuable feminine essence, our deep, rich emotions, with our natural abilities to throw out our spiritual nets far and wide, covering many with our gifts of compassion and love, making our world a richer place to live, to love and to be.
Gathering all of this up and tuning into what it is that is our own unique truths about our own unique selves and not wavering.
This is true for men as well. Are you satisfied in relationship? Is it working or not working for you?
Men, if you desire a woman that is all of what you dream, maybe consider observing from a stand point that is not primal wired, but is more conscious and considerate(with the desire to fulfill the needs of a woman first), that is more mature or willing to become more mature. To experience what it is you are truly missing from life and from a woman that has depth and unconditional love to share.
To get you out of the same mediocre routine that if you thought about it and were to speak your own truth, you may perhaps see that you are unfulfilled in relationship with just having sex?
To step up to the plate and become that man that you already are.
This is what desirable attractive women are looking for. We see your potential and know it is within you.
This is also true fulfillment for both men and women.
"To be that self which one truly is."~ Kierkegaard
For me, I can not separate love and sex. I know this about myself and protect these precious Divine parts of me that not every one gets to see.
I honor and value myself first and foremost and anything that does not align with that does not get to come along on this magnificent journey with me.
I have lots to share with someone special.
At this point in my life's incredible journey, only 'the One' gets invited into exploring the mystery and Divinity of the unconditional sacred love that I know is within me.
Intimacy (In to me I see)
I must trust the man and feel safe first, that his intentions are of pure heart and soul before I will consider fulfilling all of his needs. (see my post on chi buzz and dark chocolate :-))
The true magic happens when a woman has all of her needs safely met, the blissful erotic feelings of love, passion, sensuality, and of playful, sexy, nurturing, bubbles up from deep within her, where she will surrender and blossom into your ravishment all at once.
The mystery of it all that intrigues and enchants you as a man is all at once revealed to you at the climax of true freedom into the oneness of all that is, finding unconditional Divine sacred love in this intimate unity.
This creates a win win situation that is mature and wise, that we all deserve.
I call in a sacred unconditional Divine love that I have learned to embrace and flow through my body that is now overflowing to share with my one true love. I will not compromise because I know with faith what is possible.
We are all spiritual beings of infinite absolute potential with unlimited possibility to create from.
Source connection is Unconditional Divine Sacred Love. This is our evidence that it exists now.
We as women are the Gems to behold.
Treat yourselves as this truth and others will treat you as this is truth.
Self worth and self esteem determines your destiny.
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Katherine Lia~ Spiritual Life Coach/RN
~specializing in Romantic and Financial Alchemy~Easily turning leaden human experience into spiritual gold.
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