One of the most important tools for communication with others is listening.
True blue listening which is an active practice that most of us up to this point do not do very well at all.
I have a friend who will ask me a question and then turn a way, like he does not care to know the answer. It is clearly unconscious behavior on his part. I do not take it personally.
Many of us women think we are good communicators because we are more connected naturally to our emotions.
The truth is true listening takes practice and once learned properly can transform your life forever.
When practiced can solve 99% of most of your relationship problems from this one very important skill.
This is the perfect skill to get a lot of practice in while dating.
You not only give them the gift of listening like no other person ever has, you become very attractive to others because of you being fully present with them.
Yes, this is a skill that instantaneously brings you fully present in the moment where all the magic and power lies in creating your tomorrows.
Now, is all there is.
Eckart Tolle stated on Oprah's revolutionary New Earth Webinar, "To stay present in running your own race now. That desiring to win something in the future, only drains you of the energy needed to win in the moment."
Ego love is impatient.
E-edge,
G-God,
O-out
Your Ego says," Where am I in all of that?" (the beingness in all of that?) Always trying to make sense of the world.
Become friendly with the present moment at all times where instant transformation is possible.
True listening is such a gift to give to another.
To give your full undivided attention to someone is a gift that not many people experience because we have never learned this skill properly and have developed bad habits around it.
We are either:
1. agreeing or disagreeing with what is said or
2. we are judging whether or not we like what we hear or
3.we are comparing what is said with what we already know or
4. we are finishing off their sentence in our own head or
5. we are listening from a defended position as though we must protect our own point of view.
We think we are listening but what we are really doing is listening to the commentary in our head about what we are hearing.
Remember we are not our thoughts or our emotions, we are the awareness behind the thoughts.
Eckart Tolle says, "You are the awareness of your thoughts disguised as a person. You are the stillness."
Your coaching request is to practice fully listening this week. This is how:
1. to fully listen we must put aside our own thoughts to listen to the others point of view.
2. you actually listen to each and every word to simply hear it.
3. do not interpret, analyze or read into what is being said.
4. listen as though the person talking has a gem of wisdom to say that could profoundly change your life.
5. give full attention without interrupting them or multi-tasking.
This is so important, to not be communicating on the phone while on the computer at the same time.
Listen to everyone that crosses your path in your day. Your date, your dad, the postman and the busboy.
Give everyone your full undivided attention and you will soon see the magic in your life.
Practice, practice, practice.
Remember to be gentle with yourself here and provide a learning curve to becoming irresistibly attractive to others.
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